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Andrea Mulder-Slater

Andrea Mulder-Slater

A Poem for a Monday - Cold

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by Andrea Mulder-Slater

If things were different... they'd be different.

Instead,

I drink my coffee.

Cold.

Poetry

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Theme images by merrymoonmary

All text (& some images) copyright Andrea Mulder-Slater; Don't take my stuff without attribution

What Can I Draw Today?

My new book!

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10 Things I Won't Do

by Andrea Mulder-Slater Ten things I will not do. 1) Drink booze. I once threw up on a security guard's foot at an outdoor concert. I was a teenager. Drinking just didn't hold any appeal after that. 2) Eat raw meat/fish. Um, enough said. 3) Stop loving chocolate. Dark chocolate is a source of iron so I'm basically harming myself if I don't eat it.

Hello, are you at Walmart?

by Andrea Mulder-Slater Yesterday I called my local Walmart store to see if it was open. Walmart is always open, just like gas stations, amazon.com and that guy named Slippy who sells acetaminophen at cost. Still, I felt the need to call because I am philosophically skeptical. Unlike Slippy. I held the phone to my ear. There was no ring – only some muffled noises somewhat reminiscent of the sound a cocker spaniel makes when he licks a goldfish. I’m only guessing here. As so often happens to me, I was dialing out, while - at the exact moment - someone else was doing the same. Only, the man on the other end was not aware of this phenomenon and instead thought I was his wife. Or God. Whichever. I on the other hand, grew up in the country - with a party line - so hearing confused strangers on my telephone line is nothing new to me. ME : Hello? Is anyone there? Voice : Margaret? Is that you? ME : Are you at Walmart? Voice : How did you know I was at Walmart? ME : I ca

Sight Unseen

By Andrea Mulder-Slater When I make a painting, I am either looking at something (a landscape, a coffee cup, a house…) or - in the case of my abstracts - I am thinking about a place (the ocean, the forest, the city…). However, the inspiration for the Sight Unseen series came from a very different place.

Full Moon Baby

by Andrea Mulder-Slater When I was 8 months pregnant, my husband and I were given the hospital tour. “The maternity ward,” said the nurse in a singsong voice, “is a wonderful place to be.” She showed us the birthing areas, the shower room and the nurses’ station, complete with flowers and chocolate bon-bons on the counter top. “It’s never very busy here,” she continued, “so you are pretty much guaranteed a private room and that way, mom, baby and daddy can stay together and be comfortable.” Reality is such a bitch. I went into labour on Monday afternoon. My daughter was born on Wednesday night. I don’t fancy doing anything that feels good for longer than one, maybe two hours – tops, so needless to say, being in labour for 48 hours was not on my bucket list. By the time it was over, everyone involved was elated, and exhausted. My parents – now proud grandparents - drove home to their beds while Geoff, the newborn and I were taken to our room – a

Calcium pills should never be swallowed at night

by Andrea Mulder-Slater Lately, between the full moon , Tim Roth and the endless stream of creative thoughts and dark imaginings that regularly occupy my mind, sleeping has been near impossible. For more than a week I've been working on five or six hours at best - when I'm lucky. This wouldn't be an issue except for the fact that when I get less than eight to thirteen hours of rest a night , I become paranoid and obsessive... far more than usual. To be clear, it's not that I can't sleep. I just can't sleep at night - or, when it's appropriate to sleep. Case in point. We were driving back from the city (Jan and the 3 year old in the backseat, Geoff and I in the front, a thousand pounds of hardwood for the new house in the truck bed) when I conked out - head titled back, mouth wide open - right in the middle of a conversation with Geoff - who was (fortunately) in the driver's seat. Could've been a far more eventful trip had our seating position

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Humour121 Humor119 reasons to feel sorry for me72 animals27 parenting24 health17 it's funny really15 artwork12 Art Education6 homeschooling3

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