Showing posts from March, 2013

What you know, can kill you.

by: Andrea Mulder-Slater I’m fairly certain getting healthy shouldn’t make you feel sick. Then again, I’m no medical expert - though I do read the Google News Health headlines faithfully, which – as a rule - is not conducive to getting a good night’s sleep, what with all the bulletins about procreating superbugs, medical mix-ups and bacon condoms. Seriously. Look it up. Still, all of my late-night reading brings me closer to the truth. And the truth is, I’m a health failure. Case in point: Omega 3 fatty acids. Apparently, according to medical experts, I am not getting enough of them in my diet. This means I will become sick and die but not before my nails become brittle, my hair turns to straw and I become overly anxious. It may be too late. Appealing, no? In an effort to stay alive – and supple - I decided to take matters into my own hands. However, after contemplating the prospect of eating salmon every day, I developed an alternative step-by-step plan.

You say toilet paper tube, I say jungle gym

by Andrea Mulder-Slater It's been a little over a week since we added a new member to our family. He loves bananas, has teeth like a Medieval snake and he eats his own poop. Let me back up. My daughter is cuckoo for animals. She loves them. A lot. It’s a deep kind of love. The kind that makes her heart ache every time she sees a dog, hears a story about a turtle, thinks about a kitten or smells a chicken. See, from the time she could comprehend such things, my girl has told all who would listen, that when she grows up, she is going to be a veterinarian. Because, she says, “I take good care of animals.”  The kid loves critters. But – and this is where life grabs you by your ear lobe, forces you to the ground and steps on your left shoulder until you vomit and pass out - my kid (you know, the one who LOVES animals) is allergic. To animals. Specifically, dogs and cats. You know, PETS. When you’re a parent with a child who desperately wants a pet, and is no longer satis