Clogs float, don't they?
by Andrea Mulder-Slater
There
was a footbridge that Glenna knew about. It wasn’t big, but the drop
down to the water below sure was. To protect people from their own lack
of common sense, the city had installed fences to separate the walkway
from the aqueduct. Clearly they hadn’t considered the thought process of
a pair of dim-witted cousins.
No, really.
As
kids, my cousin Glenna and I had a knack for getting into trouble. We
often spent summers together and though while apart, we were both fairly
levelheaded people; together we magically morphed into a couple of
numb-skulls.
Case in point… the clog incident.
We
had a certain amount of freedom at Glenna’s house. We could walk to the
corner store, to friend’s houses and to the Wendys restaurant. All were
within minutes of home. But, we were forbidden to go near any of the
nearby waterways and we were never, ever permitted to wander close any
bridges.
We
were no more than 10 years old when we set out on our adventure. It was
a spur of the moment scheme that was unquestionably ill planned. We had
no money, no snacks and I was wearing slip-on-clogs… Abba (yes, that
Abba) clogs. It was the early 80s. Cool looked different back then.
blog.urbanoutfitters.com |
Yeah, it looked a little something like this. |
After we had squeezed our way
past the barriers, one of us suggested a game of chicken. The concept
was simple – hold on to the fence, lean back, let go and see which dumb
ass would grab for the fence first. It was kind of a "nature's way of
weeding out the stupid" moment. We made one or two attempts, when one of
my clogs slipped off my foot… a blessing in disguise.
Within
seconds, the wooden soled shoe hit the water and was instantly sucked
below the surface. Glenna and I both froze and clung to the fence as we
took a good look at the sheer 40-foot drop below us.
We
stared at one other – our eyes wild with fear. “We can’t go home
without your clog,” reasoned Glenna. “If we do, my mom will know we were
up to something.”
“Clogs float, don’t they?” I wondered out loud.
“Yes!” Glenna yelped as she grabbed my hand.
The
plan was simple. We would get the hell off the bridge and scoot down
the embankment to see if we could liberate the clog from the rushing
water.
It
didn’t work. We saw my shoe a few times as it bobbed and dipped in the
current. And we even thought briefly about jumping in after it. But in
the end, I walked home with one sock foot.
Our parents - understandably furious - were thankful that we both survived, in spite of our own foolishness.
Since then, clogs have held a special place in my heart. I think the following people must feel the same way…
Artist Halle Riddlebarger
creates lovely designs on shoes of all kinds. Drawn in black India ink
on the white leather upper of a wooden clog, this pair features a
variety of abstract designs and images from the artist's imagination.
http://villageshoes.blogspot.com/2011/02/custom-art-clogs-for-kerry.html |
Lee Lynden
likes clogs and Christmas. What a festive combination! Here she has
created the ultimate hostess gift. Best of all, when you order your own
custom pair you get a free Holiday card. It gets better and better, yes?
http://theswanx.com/StNick.aspx |
If Day of the Dead is more your style, than you will appreciate these functional works of art by Lisa from Coral Springs. Mind you, the clogs were pre-owned before she painted them which makes me feel a little less than enthused. You pays yer money and you takes yer chances...
http://www.etsy.com/listing/76867083/womens-hand-painted-sugar-skull-day-of |
Perhaps
you are more fashion forward, in which case you will probably long for
footwear like this. Then again, maybe not. Like my husband says: "Sure,
you can put glitter on it, but it's still a clog."
Miu Miu Glitter Covered Clogs |
Then, there are these puppies designed by whimsikalwood.
They are the real deal - a genuine pair of fully wooden clogs.
Although, I don't think you'd find too many Dutch tulip farmers sporting
toenails like these. How do you say "yuck" politely?
http://www.etsy.com/listing/83171067/clog-art-barely-clogged |
And
finally, while we're talking Dutch (my favorite language), here is a
delightful painting by one of the world's most well known artists. Enjoy
and remember, clogs save lives.
A Pair Of Leather Clogs by Vincent Van Gogh |