Do they serve that at Dennys?

by Andrea Mulder-Slater

This morning, I asked my 3 year old daughter what she would like for breakfast. It's a pretty safe bet since her response is usually "Goldilocks porridge" (oat bran with cinnamon) or "ice cream" (healthy homemade version made with banana, avocado, fruit and rice milk).

But today, she hit me with something entirely new.

Her request was (get ready for it), "Squash miracle garden yuck."

Now, I don't know about you, but I don't have an effing clue what squash miracle garden yuck is. Nor do I have any idea where she might have heard of such a delicacy. Is this kid sneaking out to roadside diners while I'm on Twitter sleeping? Perhaps Max & Ruby have been cooking on Netflix again. Why not? They've got no parents to feed them.

Either way, I was up for the challenge. And so, I served up this delectable treat.

Squash miracle garden yuck

I scooped some leftover butternut squash into a glass. It might have been a brandy glass. Because I'm classy like that. Then, I stuck a couple of Sociables and a pair of crackers-with-cheese-in-the-middle into the mush. An ice cream sundae spoon completed the meal.

Now that I look at it, this breakfast appears strikingly like Beaker from the Muppet Show -- if someone melted him into a glass. A brandy glass.

http://muppet.wikia.com/wiki/Beaker

Am I wrong? You know I'm not wrong. Wow. And I wasn't even trying.

Doesn't matter. The point is that my daughter's breakfast contained everything she asked for. It had squash. The squash came from a garden and honestly, even I know it was dripping with yuck.

Then came the miracle.

Squash miracle garden yuck gone

She ate the entire freaking thing.

I win.

No, really.