Andrea Mulder-Slater

by Andrea Mulder-Slater One morning when my daughter was 3, she and I were walking along the seashore at low tide, searching for what the waves had brought in. As we stepped carefully around the rocks - our rubber boots sinking into the squishy sand beneath our feet - we discovered seaweed, sand dollars, crabs, sea urchins, periwinkles and even a starfish or two. “Can we take them home? Pleeeease?”

by Andrea Mulder-Slater I grew up in the 1990s. Ok, I also grew up in the 1980s. The thing is — when I was a kid in the 1970s, money was tight and we didn't have a ton of extra cash available for buying store-bought treats. Cakes were reserved for birthdays (and were always homemade), ice cream was a once or twice a year delicacy and the closest I came to Popsicles were the delicious frozen chunks of apple juice nestled in our ice cube trays.

by Andrea Mulder-Slater Allow me to preface this post with the following words: If you have a weak stomach, you probably shouldn't read this. ----------------- Having an animal-lover for a child means I'm learning far more about animal behavior than I care to know. For example, just recently, my daughter informed me that naked mole rats like to roll around in their own urine; grasshoppers spit brown goo when they are nervous and owls - after eating small mammals whole - regurgitate the indigestible parts in the form of pellets. Like so. Yeah. Raising children is disgusting. Almost as disgusting as owls. Especially when they come to you, with their little voices and sweet faces - wooden spoon in hand - asking, "Mom, can you help me make Owl Puke Balls?" You say yes to the owl barf because frankly, you are far too intrigued (and exhausted) to say no. To make your own, you will need a small rodent. And, an owl. Or, you can substitute the following i...

The product description read: Witness one of nature's most spectacular transformations - up close - with a reusable, collapsible habitat. Totally appealing, no? When I saw the live butterfly garden advertised online, I became restless. Against my better judgement, I knew I had to get one for my insect-obsessed 6 year old. I mean, the kit promised an easy-to-use feeder and complete instructions. And butterfly larvae with food shipped directly to my home. There was no way this wasn’t happening. Despite my aversion to having bugs in the house, I placed my order and – as is typical in my area – I requested it be shipped to a drop-off location on the USA side of the border so I could pop across, pick it up and bring the parcel home. Now before I continue, I want to make one thing perfectly clear… I am a law-abiding citizen. For the most part. I drive below the speed limit. I almost always tell the supermarket cashier if she accidentally rings my apples in at the regul...

by Andrea Mulder-Slater The best-laid plans are doomed to fail. As you may or may not know, I began 2015 with the goal of painting/drawing a coffee cup each and every day for the entire year. #ACoffeeADay Three hundred and sixty-five cups!   I was chugging along... drawing, painting, Tweeting, Facebooking and Instagramming - well on my way to completing month two of the project - when I did something that would forever change the course of history. Well, not YOUR history. Just mine, mostly. I came across a note on a friend’s Facebook page. The note was called 21 Questions to Ask Your Child and like a happy-go-lucky puppy, I did it. Here's how my daughter responded...   1. What is something I always say to you?  I love you. 2. What makes me happy? I make you happy. 3. What makes me sad?  When I get hurt. 4. How do I make you laugh? By dancing funny. (I don't try to dance funny, but whatever.) 5. What was I like as a child...

by Andrea Mulder-Slater I love Dick and Jane books.  I loved them when I was a kid and I love them now that I am teaching the 5 year old how to read. Yesterday, I was in the office, busy writing about another one of my brushes with the medical community, when I heard my daughter reading aloud in the living room.  She was going through a book we had recently purchased at a library sale.  Then, I had a slow-motion conversation inside my head -- because, look at this. Um... what exactly is this story about? Oh shit. Did I accidentally buy a Dick and Jane parody book? WHAT can work for her? Good lord Dick! That's when I sprung into action.   I rushed to the living room, distracted the 5 year old with a box of raisins and grabbed the reader in time to see this... I love Dick and Jane books. No, really.

by Andrea Mulder-Slater You know how whenever you stub your toe, you inevitably spend the next few days whacking said toe into table legs and bed frames before running over it with your office chair because you aren’t paying attention, mostly due to the fact that you are stuffing chocolate chips in your mouth before your preschooler figures out where you are hiding? Maybe it’s just me. How about when you’re about to walk into a crowded room, wearing your new black pants, feeling rather Sophia Loren, only to have your old lady briefs slip up where they shouldn’t, right after you catch yourself tripping over your own heels? Not that either? Well, trust me, it is inexplicable and also magical – but not in a good way. I think it has something to do with magnets. Or maybe sound waves. I don’t know, really. My memory is fuzzy when it comes to Grade 10 Physics. In fact, I may not have taken that class at all. In any case, I had one of these magnetic moments at the grocery store th...

by Andrea Mulder-Slater “Do you want to know how to rest a chicken?” The 4 year old was in the back seat of the car, busting with new found barnyard animal knowledge. The answer was yes. Geoff, Jan and I did want to know how to rest a chicken. Because, why wouldn't we? Let me back up… If there’s one thing I’ve learned about my daughter in the short time I’ve known her, it’s that she loves critters more than chocolate, jellybeans, avocados, onions and canned sardines combined. Yeah. I don’t know whose child she is either. And she’s not choosy. Insects, amphibians, invertebrates, crustaceans, rodents, canines, felines, bovines, equines and poultry all generate the same level of adoration from the tiny person who, since she could speak, has consistently declared, “When I grow up, I’m going to be a veterinarian, because I take good care of animals.”    If I could, I would fill our home with as many dogs and cats as we have rooms. But I can’t. And here’s why. My ki...

by Andrea Mulder-Slater   " Mom! Mom! Come look at this!”  The four year old was standing at the window – something wildly fantastic had caught her attention. Again. “Maaaaawwmmmmm! Come look! Mom! Look!”  I stood up from my chair for what felt like the four hundredth time that hour. It had been a busy day of discoveries for the littlest one in the house. As usual, my daughter’s imagination had been running wild – her detections shared with excruciating diligence. First, there was a carrot that looked like a harbor seal. “Let’s never throw this out! Never!” Then, a pile of cracker crumbs which resembled a dog snout. “I have to show Nana!” A heart-shaped piece of toilet paper… “Put this with your collection mom.”  (For the record, I do collect toilet paper. Don’t ask.) And, a day-old banana with an indisputable likeness of a baby Komodo dragon emblazoned on its spotty peel. “Let’s take a picture of this with our brain heads.”   Back ...